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Post by mossy on Nov 27, 2007 18:20:21 GMT -4
"I never even liked sausage anyway, but im glad were fine my love". Tammy looked at Ralph with disbelief in her eyes, Standing there naked. "I cant believe you`d say that after what just happend" she started sobbing. and quickly put her clothes back on and walked out the room as quickly as she ran in. Ralph sighed heavily "da*n, i guess im not getting any tonigt" he thought. He followed Tammy back out int the lounge and.....
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Post by Sapphire on Nov 27, 2007 21:43:17 GMT -4
Guess what! Sausage came back with not even one hair was damaged. Tammy picked up Sauage with the love in her eyes, now she really likes Sausage. Joe (who is the leading man in this story) said to Molly (his ex-girlfrined), "Where does that leave me?" Molly continues, it is because Ralph is ....
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Post by Dagalvyi on Nov 28, 2007 10:42:41 GMT -4
.... a better peice of meat than you are!
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Post by King Solomon on Nov 28, 2007 16:22:20 GMT -4
No, but seriously, Molly continued, there is something to be learned from this awesome story.
Joe looked incredulously at Molly. How so?
Well... Molly continued. Think back to what it took to get Ralph off his ass and motivated toward pursuing a relationship with Tammy. He was attracted to her, but did not know how to take the next step. What it took, was a chain of events involving the two of them, and the dog, Sausage. That was all that was needed to get them together. So Joe, what you want to do is get a dog or something. Go to the local meat store and start making lewd comments. Then things will start to happen.
Joe started laughing uncontrollably. This is about the stupidest story I have ever heard. What made you think of this? I'm sure there are better examples of how to start a relationship.
Well, Molly replied nervously, I have a much better story that I was going to tell you next. The only thing is that you have to keep an open mind and not jump to any conclusions. It all started in New York City in the Year 2012. You see...
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Post by Astral Knight on Nov 28, 2007 16:36:24 GMT -4
There will be no sky in year 2012, because it will be the end of the world, and another guy named John is involved with this story.
This is what he did to get a girl-- One day in year 2012, the sky was red and....
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Post by king arthur on Nov 28, 2007 21:12:35 GMT -4
Before Molly continues (they are still on phone conversation), Joe was thinking, "Maybe Molly wants a 'hot' date with him, and making up all these stories." So, Joe interrupts Molly and says, "I am not doing anything tonight, would you like to have dinner together, and after dinner, we can have dessert in my apartment just like in the old days while we were going out (Joe is thinking, Molly is not a great laid, but at least it is something). Molly says on the phone....
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Post by Dagalvyi on Nov 28, 2007 23:38:15 GMT -4
... I have to tell you the truth about me Joe.
I have an obsessive compulsive lying disorder.
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Post by Astral Knight on Nov 29, 2007 16:41:18 GMT -4
"So what! All the girls I met have the same problem, I am asking you out, not asking your mental condition, this is the reason I have extreme bad luck with women," Joe replied with a smile. "They either lied to me that they are already married or having boyfriend and had me as a sidekick," Joe sighed.
Molly says, "I want to introduce a girl to you. Come to the 'Barbini' restaurant tonight 7 pm, she will be wearing a RED coat, she is about 5 feet 6, her name is Angela, you will like her." After that Molly hang up the phone...
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Post by king arthur on Nov 30, 2007 21:06:44 GMT -4
Hang up so soon? Joe is wondering. But he is very curious about this Angela girl, "You will like her!" Molly's voice is sounding in Joe's head.
This day, Joe did his laudry for the whole week, and cooked for his lunch and read some books, waits for the night to come.
Finally, it is 7 p.m. ...
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Post by King Solomon on Dec 1, 2007 17:59:48 GMT -4
Joe got in his 1986 Toyota Corolla. He mused to himself that it is a wonder that it still runs with 130,000 miles. He had only paid $500 for it 3 years ago. It was all he could afford.
He drove to the 'Barbini' restaurant. He was glad it was only one mile away since it was 7PM and he was already late. As he arrived, he watched a beautiful woman, about 22 years old, 5'6" tall, wearing a RED coat, with long curly brown hair. She was voluptuous, and looked like like a model, except with curves added in all the right places. She was getting out of a Mercedes 500 sedan, - Joe thought to himself - this is a $150,000 car. The license plate said "Angela1."
"Oh my god," Joe thought. What has Molly gotten me into? Angela is SO out of my league. He got back in his Toyota, put the key in the ignition. Just then Molly called Joe on his cell phone. "Well," she said. "Did you meet?"
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Post by king arthur on Dec 1, 2007 21:00:13 GMT -4
Joe was panic and could not hold his cell phone still, and that da*n phone fell into the floor mat of his Toyota. Meanwhile, another car drives in the parking lot, another lady with RED coat showed up, and this lady has a Honda 2000. And this one is a "looker!" Joe is surprised, but still could not find his cell because it is so dark over there, and he could not turn on the lights in the car or that lady might see him, also while the phone dropped on the floor, by accident it did hang up Molly's call. Molly did not give up, she rings again... "da*n Molly!"....Joe is cursing...
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Post by Dagalvyi on Dec 2, 2007 15:13:17 GMT -4
Joe answes the phone; "What do you want?" Molly cries;"I lost my sausage again."
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Post by Astral Knight on Dec 2, 2007 19:08:08 GMT -4
"It is your problem now, I gave him to you! Remember? " Joe says.
"You are so heartless!" Molly says. Joe is busy staring with that 'new' red coat lady, she got out of her car....
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Post by king arthur on Dec 2, 2007 20:56:53 GMT -4
It must be a full-moon tonight, because one more girl in red coat showed up on the other side of parking lot. "Which one is Angela? Because there are three ladies in Red coat." Joe is asking Molly on the phone. "Go to hell!" Molly hang up the phone. Now, Joe is really in trouble. All three ladies went inside of the "Barbini." Joe wants to act cool, had all his mojo together and entered the front door of 'Barbini'....
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Post by King Solomon on Dec 3, 2007 10:28:52 GMT -4
Joe stood there for a moment, checking the place out. People seemed to be dressed oddly.
He looked closely at a table across the room. The first two "Angelas" that he saw in the parking lot, with the Mercedes 500 and the Honda 2000 were kissing each other passionately on the lips. He looked to the other side of the room. There were two men embracing, holding each other closely in a slow dance.
Joe started getting a sinking feeling in his stomach. He saw the third angela over by the juke box. She was arguing with someone on the cell phone.
Just then the hostess walked up to Joe and said "Would you like a table?" "There is a $25 cover charge."
Joe said...
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