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Post by Shiki Akasha on May 10, 2011 15:00:32 GMT -4
ill start An army sergeant walks into a whorehouse and approaches the madam and says, "My name is Sgt Major dick and I'm here for a woman!" The madam immediately escorts the soldier upstairs and selects the best call girl they have for him. Sgt Major dick immediately disrobes and is standing with his hands on his hips while he looks at the prostitute waiting for him on the bed. He says, "My name is Sgt dick, been in the army thirty years, and I'm a master of my mind and body, dick, ATTEN-SHUN. Immediately his pen*s becomes instantly erect! The prostitute is in awe and asks how he can do it. The Sgt Major replies, "Like I said, I've been in the army thirty years and I have total control over my mind and body, dick, AT EASE." His pen*s immediately goes limp. The prostitute still can't get over what she saw and asks him to make it hard then soft then hard again. She asks him again how he does it. The Sgt Major shouts, "I have already told you honey, I have been in the army thirty years, and I am master of my mind and body, dick, ATTEN-SHUN. His pen*s goes instantly hard. Then he gives the following command, "dick- AT EASE!" The Sgt Major looks down and is amazed to see his pen*s is fully erect. The Sgt Major is now fuming, and says, "I'm going to tell you one more time, dick-AT EASE!" No luck. His pen*s is still hard. He yells "God Dammit!" and moves to the side of the bed and starts to masturbate vigorously. The prostitute asks, "What the hell is going on?" The Sgt Major replies, "This soldier disobeyed a direct order, and I'm giving him a dishonourable discharge!"
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Post by Shiki Akasha on May 10, 2011 15:00:56 GMT -4
For their anniversary, a man bought his beautiful wife a diamond broach. Not expecting such an expensive and well-thought-out gift from her charming but often times muddle-headed husband, the wife decides to set up a wild romantic night for just the two of them, telling her husband only that there would be an “extra special surprise” for him when he got home that evening.
She goes out to an adult novelty store, and picks up among other things a dozen special lavender-scented candles for the occasion.
Now, what the wife did not realize was that in the store at the time was a slightly irate, and perhaps mildly deranged young woman who had recently suspected her boyfriend of cheating on her. The only clue she had to who her boyfriend had been sleeping with, was that he had come home smelling like the lavender-scented candles coincidentally sold only in this particular store, and which the unsuspecting wife had just purchased a bunch of. Noticing this purchase, the young lady begins to tail the wife back.
Meanwhile, when the wife had left her house, she did not realize she had been seen leaving by a fairly attractive female cat-burglar, who had been sighting the neighborhood for potential targets. Seeing that the house was now unoccupied for at least a little while, the cat-burglar attempts to break into the home. She makes her way into the bedroom, when she sees on the night stand the diamond broach the wife had gotten as an anniversary gift. The burglar is about to swipe it and leave, when she suddenly hears the wife pulling back into the driveway. The bedroom was on the second floor, while the burglar had entered in through a window she had pried open in the kitchen. Knowing she can not to back out the same way she had come in, the cat burglar sees a crawlspace door on the ceiling of the bedroom closet. Not having time to find a better hiding spot, she rushes to the closet, literally jumps through the ceiling door, and manages to get it back in place just before the wife enters into the bedroom, completely oblivious to what just happened.
The wife, quickly changing and setting up the bedroom, lighting candles, putting on her best neglige, setting a romantic soundtrack playing, the whole twelve yards.
Outside the jealous and woefully misguided young woman from back at the adult novelty store has somehow climbed up to the second story bedroom window, and through a small space between the curtains, is able to see what the housewife is doing. Seeing the older woman setting up the candles and prancing around in an “almost-nothing”, the young woman wrongfully assumes it is for her cheating boyfriend, and vows that TWO can play at this game.
Up above, the cat-burglar has been attempting to silently move along the beams in the ceiling’s crawl space, specifically beams that were not really meant for human being to move across, in hopes of escaping through another part of the house undetected. However, her blouse, along with the bra-strap underneath it, have gotten caught on a loose jagged nail in one of the roof beams. Although she really needed two hands to properly balance in this state, she could not get the nail to unhook on its own, and would need to use her hands to unhook it from the beam.
At this time, by complete coincidence, the husband finally returned home, eager to find out what his wife’s “special surprise” would be. When he reached the bedroom, his jaw nearly hit the floor with amazement, as he saw his wife dressed more provocatively than even on their wedding day.
At the same time the wife got up to go to bring her stunned husband to the bed, the jealous young woman, now naked as a jay bird, kicked in the thankfully shatter-proof bedroom window, giving a Tarzan-like yell as she barged in! This was enough to startle the cat burglar up above, who lost her balance completely, and had her blouse & bra torn completely off, as she fell butt first onto the bed.
Upon seeing two more naked women suddenly appearing in the bedroom, the husband actually broke into tears.
“da*nIT WOMAN! I ONLY HAVE ONE pen*s!!!”
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Post by Adzi on May 10, 2011 17:37:54 GMT -4
ill start An army sergeant walks into a whorehouse and approaches the madam and says, "My name is Sgt Major dick and I'm here for a woman!" The madam immediately escorts the soldier upstairs and selects the best call girl they have for him. Sgt Major dick immediately disrobes and is standing with his hands on his hips while he looks at the prostitute waiting for him on the bed. He says, "My name is Sgt dick, been in the army thirty years, and I'm a master of my mind and body, dick, ATTEN-SHUN. Immediately his pen*s becomes instantly erect! The prostitute is in awe and asks how he can do it. The Sgt Major replies, "Like I said, I've been in the army thirty years and I have total control over my mind and body, dick, AT EASE." His pen*s immediately goes limp. The prostitute still can't get over what she saw and asks him to make it hard then soft then hard again. She asks him again how he does it. The Sgt Major shouts, "I have already told you honey, I have been in the army thirty years, and I am master of my mind and body, dick, ATTEN-SHUN. His pen*s goes instantly hard. Then he gives the following command, "dick- AT EASE!" The Sgt Major looks down and is amazed to see his pen*s is fully erect. The Sgt Major is now fuming, and says, "I'm going to tell you one more time, dick-AT EASE!" No luck. His pen*s is still hard. He yells "God Dammit!" and moves to the side of the bed and starts to masturbate vigorously. The prostitute asks, "What the hell is going on?" The Sgt Major replies, "This soldier disobeyed a direct order, and I'm giving him a dishonourable discharge!"
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Post by Adzi on May 10, 2011 17:52:11 GMT -4
For their anniversary, a man bought his beautiful wife a diamond broach. Not expecting such an expensive and well-thought-out gift from her charming but often times muddle-headed husband, the wife decides to set up a wild romantic night for just the two of them, telling her husband only that there would be an “extra special surprise” for him when he got home that evening. She goes out to an adult novelty store, and picks up among other things a dozen special lavender-scented candles for the occasion. Now, what the wife did not realize was that in the store at the time was a slightly irate, and perhaps mildly deranged young woman who had recently suspected her boyfriend of cheating on her. The only clue she had to who her boyfriend had been sleeping with, was that he had come home smelling like the lavender-scented candles coincidentally sold only in this particular store, and which the unsuspecting wife had just purchased a bunch of. Noticing this purchase, the young lady begins to tail the wife back. Meanwhile, when the wife had left her house, she did not realize she had been seen leaving by a fairly attractive female cat-burglar, who had been sighting the neighborhood for potential targets. Seeing that the house was now unoccupied for at least a little while, the cat-burglar attempts to break into the home. She makes her way into the bedroom, when she sees on the night stand the diamond broach the wife had gotten as an anniversary gift. The burglar is about to swipe it and leave, when she suddenly hears the wife pulling back into the driveway. The bedroom was on the second floor, while the burglar had entered in through a window she had pried open in the kitchen. Knowing she can not to back out the same way she had come in, the cat burglar sees a crawlspace door on the ceiling of the bedroom closet. Not having time to find a better hiding spot, she rushes to the closet, literally jumps through the ceiling door, and manages to get it back in place just before the wife enters into the bedroom, completely oblivious to what just happened. The wife, quickly changing and setting up the bedroom, lighting candles, putting on her best neglige, setting a romantic soundtrack playing, the whole twelve yards. Outside the jealous and woefully misguided young woman from back at the adult novelty store has somehow climbed up to the second story bedroom window, and through a small space between the curtains, is able to see what the housewife is doing. Seeing the older woman setting up the candles and prancing around in an “almost-nothing”, the young woman wrongfully assumes it is for her cheating boyfriend, and vows that TWO can play at this game. Up above, the cat-burglar has been attempting to silently move along the beams in the ceiling’s crawl space, specifically beams that were not really meant for human being to move across, in hopes of escaping through another part of the house undetected. However, her blouse, along with the bra-strap underneath it, have gotten caught on a loose jagged nail in one of the roof beams. Although she really needed two hands to properly balance in this state, she could not get the nail to unhook on its own, and would need to use her hands to unhook it from the beam. At this time, by complete coincidence, the husband finally returned home, eager to find out what his wife’s “special surprise” would be. When he reached the bedroom, his jaw nearly hit the floor with amazement, as he saw his wife dressed more provocatively than even on their wedding day. At the same time the wife got up to go to bring her stunned husband to the bed, the jealous young woman, now naked as a jay bird, kicked in the thankfully shatter-proof bedroom window, giving a Tarzan-like yell as she barged in! This was enough to startle the cat burglar up above, who lost her balance completely, and had her blouse & bra torn completely off, as she fell butt first onto the bed. Upon seeing two more naked women suddenly appearing in the bedroom, the husband actually broke into tears. “da*nIT WOMAN! I ONLY HAVE ONE pen*s!!!” ok i'm not saying it is a bad joke ... but it is a little bit long-ish u know i was thinking of something shorter like: a husband is coming back home after two years of working abroad. the wife all excited preparing dinner and sending the kids away to her moms eagerly awaits him.
the guy walks in at home and immediately tells his wife: -" honey forget the dinner, take off everything u have on u and run for the bedroom " the wife all excited, panting, jumps in the bedroom bed naked: -" i didn't think u'll miss me soO much " the guy walks in briskly, turns off the lights in the bedroom, sits right next to her on the bed
and snaps his wrist in front of her -" check out this ultra cool new watch i got, it GLOWS in the dark " ;D
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Post by Sapphire on May 10, 2011 21:14:07 GMT -4
I have to agree one of the jokes Shiki Asagami Brunested wrote is too long. Took a while to read it, I have a simple one: One guy is a regular in a bordello. One day this bordello has to do a renovation, and the bordello lobby has always kept one parrot. The parrot has become a problem, because no place to place him during the renovation. So, the Madam said to this regular customer, "Would you mind bring this parrot home for a few days till the renovation is over?" This regular happily obliged, and takes the parrot home. Whenever you are transporting a bird, you have to cover the birdcage with a black clothe, so the bird does not get panic during the trip. Finally, the regular customer got home, and his wife and all his daughters gathering around in the living room. The guy says, "I got a bird, and will stay with us few days." Then uncovers the clothe of the birdcage. The minute the clothe is uncovered, the parrot sees the guy and the wife and daughters, the parrot's eyes sparkled and says, "Regular customer! But all NEW GIRLS." Hint: The parrot thought all the ladies he sees are all ... new prostitutes.
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Post by Sapphire on May 10, 2011 21:17:26 GMT -4
One more joke about parrot (they are just a lot of fun): A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood he started shouting in the middle of the show: "Look, it's not the same hat" "Look, he is hiding the flowers under the table" "Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades ?" The magician was furious but couldn't do anything; it was, after all, the captain's parrot. One day the ship had an accident and sank. The magician found himself on a piece of wood in the middle of the ocean with the parrot, of course. They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day and then another and another. After a week the parrot said: "OK, I give up. Where's the boat?"
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Post by Shiki Akasha on May 11, 2011 12:53:26 GMT -4
ill start An army sergeant walks into a whorehouse and approaches the madam and says, "My name is Sgt Major dick and I'm here for a woman!" The madam immediately escorts the soldier upstairs and selects the best call girl they have for him. Sgt Major dick immediately disrobes and is standing with his hands on his hips while he looks at the prostitute waiting for him on the bed. He says, "My name is Sgt dick, been in the army thirty years, and I'm a master of my mind and body, dick, ATTEN-SHUN. Immediately his pen*s becomes instantly erect! The prostitute is in awe and asks how he can do it. The Sgt Major replies, "Like I said, I've been in the army thirty years and I have total control over my mind and body, dick, AT EASE." His pen*s immediately goes limp. The prostitute still can't get over what she saw and asks him to make it hard then soft then hard again. She asks him again how he does it. The Sgt Major shouts, "I have already told you honey, I have been in the army thirty years, and I am master of my mind and body, dick, ATTEN-SHUN. His pen*s goes instantly hard. Then he gives the following command, "dick- AT EASE!" The Sgt Major looks down and is amazed to see his pen*s is fully erect. The Sgt Major is now fuming, and says, "I'm going to tell you one more time, dick-AT EASE!" No luck. His pen*s is still hard. He yells "God Dammit!" and moves to the side of the bed and starts to masturbate vigorously. The prostitute asks, "What the hell is going on?" The Sgt Major replies, "This soldier disobeyed a direct order, and I'm giving him a dishonourable discharge!" If only it was THAT easy ze? ;D
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Post by Shiki Akasha on May 11, 2011 12:53:45 GMT -4
ill start An army sergeant walks into a whorehouse and approaches the madam and says, "My name is Sgt Major dick and I'm here for a woman!" The madam immediately escorts the soldier upstairs and selects the best call girl they have for him. Sgt Major dick immediately disrobes and is standing with his hands on his hips while he looks at the prostitute waiting for him on the bed. He says, "My name is Sgt dick, been in the army thirty years, and I'm a master of my mind and body, dick, ATTEN-SHUN. Immediately his pen*s becomes instantly erect! The prostitute is in awe and asks how he can do it. The Sgt Major replies, "Like I said, I've been in the army thirty years and I have total control over my mind and body, dick, AT EASE." His pen*s immediately goes limp. The prostitute still can't get over what she saw and asks him to make it hard then soft then hard again. She asks him again how he does it. The Sgt Major shouts, "I have already told you honey, I have been in the army thirty years, and I am master of my mind and body, dick, ATTEN-SHUN. His pen*s goes instantly hard. Then he gives the following command, "dick- AT EASE!" The Sgt Major looks down and is amazed to see his pen*s is fully erect. The Sgt Major is now fuming, and says, "I'm going to tell you one more time, dick-AT EASE!" No luck. His pen*s is still hard. He yells "God Dammit!" and moves to the side of the bed and starts to masturbate vigorously. The prostitute asks, "What the hell is going on?" The Sgt Major replies, "This soldier disobeyed a direct order, and I'm giving him a dishonourable discharge!" dick....ATTEN-SHUN
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Post by Shiki Akasha on May 11, 2011 12:54:03 GMT -4
For their anniversary, a man bought his beautiful wife a diamond broach. Not expecting such an expensive and well-thought-out gift from her charming but often times muddle-headed husband, the wife decides to set up a wild romantic night for just the two of them, telling her husband only that there would be an “extra special surprise” for him when he got home that evening. She goes out to an adult novelty store, and picks up among other things a dozen special lavender-scented candles for the occasion. Now, what the wife did not realize was that in the store at the time was a slightly irate, and perhaps mildly deranged young woman who had recently suspected her boyfriend of cheating on her. The only clue she had to who her boyfriend had been sleeping with, was that he had come home smelling like the lavender-scented candles coincidentally sold only in this particular store, and which the unsuspecting wife had just purchased a bunch of. Noticing this purchase, the young lady begins to tail the wife back. Meanwhile, when the wife had left her house, she did not realize she had been seen leaving by a fairly attractive female cat-burglar, who had been sighting the neighborhood for potential targets. Seeing that the house was now unoccupied for at least a little while, the cat-burglar attempts to break into the home. She makes her way into the bedroom, when she sees on the night stand the diamond broach the wife had gotten as an anniversary gift. The burglar is about to swipe it and leave, when she suddenly hears the wife pulling back into the driveway. The bedroom was on the second floor, while the burglar had entered in through a window she had pried open in the kitchen. Knowing she can not to back out the same way she had come in, the cat burglar sees a crawlspace door on the ceiling of the bedroom closet. Not having time to find a better hiding spot, she rushes to the closet, literally jumps through the ceiling door, and manages to get it back in place just before the wife enters into the bedroom, completely oblivious to what just happened. The wife, quickly changing and setting up the bedroom, lighting candles, putting on her best neglige, setting a romantic soundtrack playing, the whole twelve yards. Outside the jealous and woefully misguided young woman from back at the adult novelty store has somehow climbed up to the second story bedroom window, and through a small space between the curtains, is able to see what the housewife is doing. Seeing the older woman setting up the candles and prancing around in an “almost-nothing”, the young woman wrongfully assumes it is for her cheating boyfriend, and vows that TWO can play at this game. Up above, the cat-burglar has been attempting to silently move along the beams in the ceiling’s crawl space, specifically beams that were not really meant for human being to move across, in hopes of escaping through another part of the house undetected. However, her blouse, along with the bra-strap underneath it, have gotten caught on a loose jagged nail in one of the roof beams. Although she really needed two hands to properly balance in this state, she could not get the nail to unhook on its own, and would need to use her hands to unhook it from the beam. At this time, by complete coincidence, the husband finally returned home, eager to find out what his wife’s “special surprise” would be. When he reached the bedroom, his jaw nearly hit the floor with amazement, as he saw his wife dressed more provocatively than even on their wedding day. At the same time the wife got up to go to bring her stunned husband to the bed, the jealous young woman, now naked as a jay bird, kicked in the thankfully shatter-proof bedroom window, giving a Tarzan-like yell as she barged in! This was enough to startle the cat burglar up above, who lost her balance completely, and had her blouse & bra torn completely off, as she fell butt first onto the bed. Upon seeing two more naked women suddenly appearing in the bedroom, the husband actually broke into tears. “da*nIT WOMAN! I ONLY HAVE ONE pen*s!!!” ok i'm not saying it is a bad joke ... but it is a little bit long-ish u know i was thinking of something shorter like: a husband is coming back home after two years of working abroad. the wife all excited preparing dinner and sending the kids away to her moms eagerly awaits him.
the guy walks in at home and immediately tells his wife: -" honey forget the dinner, take off everything u have on u and run for the bedroom " the wife all excited, panting, jumps in the bedroom bed naked: -" i didn't think u'll miss me soO much " the guy walks in briskly, turns off the lights in the bedroom, sits right next to her on the bed
and snaps his wrist in front of her -" check out this ultra cool new watch i got, it GLOWS in the dark " ;D ok no long jokes next time
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Post by Shiki Akasha on May 11, 2011 12:54:30 GMT -4
For their anniversary, a man bought his beautiful wife a diamond broach. Not expecting such an expensive and well-thought-out gift from her charming but often times muddle-headed husband, the wife decides to set up a wild romantic night for just the two of them, telling her husband only that there would be an “extra special surprise” for him when he got home that evening. She goes out to an adult novelty store, and picks up among other things a dozen special lavender-scented candles for the occasion. Now, what the wife did not realize was that in the store at the time was a slightly irate, and perhaps mildly deranged young woman who had recently suspected her boyfriend of cheating on her. The only clue she had to who her boyfriend had been sleeping with, was that he had come home smelling like the lavender-scented candles coincidentally sold only in this particular store, and which the unsuspecting wife had just purchased a bunch of. Noticing this purchase, the young lady begins to tail the wife back. Meanwhile, when the wife had left her house, she did not realize she had been seen leaving by a fairly attractive female cat-burglar, who had been sighting the neighborhood for potential targets. Seeing that the house was now unoccupied for at least a little while, the cat-burglar attempts to break into the home. She makes her way into the bedroom, when she sees on the night stand the diamond broach the wife had gotten as an anniversary gift. The burglar is about to swipe it and leave, when she suddenly hears the wife pulling back into the driveway. The bedroom was on the second floor, while the burglar had entered in through a window she had pried open in the kitchen. Knowing she can not to back out the same way she had come in, the cat burglar sees a crawlspace door on the ceiling of the bedroom closet. Not having time to find a better hiding spot, she rushes to the closet, literally jumps through the ceiling door, and manages to get it back in place just before the wife enters into the bedroom, completely oblivious to what just happened. The wife, quickly changing and setting up the bedroom, lighting candles, putting on her best neglige, setting a romantic soundtrack playing, the whole twelve yards. Outside the jealous and woefully misguided young woman from back at the adult novelty store has somehow climbed up to the second story bedroom window, and through a small space between the curtains, is able to see what the housewife is doing. Seeing the older woman setting up the candles and prancing around in an “almost-nothing”, the young woman wrongfully assumes it is for her cheating boyfriend, and vows that TWO can play at this game. Up above, the cat-burglar has been attempting to silently move along the beams in the ceiling’s crawl space, specifically beams that were not really meant for human being to move across, in hopes of escaping through another part of the house undetected. However, her blouse, along with the bra-strap underneath it, have gotten caught on a loose jagged nail in one of the roof beams. Although she really needed two hands to properly balance in this state, she could not get the nail to unhook on its own, and would need to use her hands to unhook it from the beam. At this time, by complete coincidence, the husband finally returned home, eager to find out what his wife’s “special surprise” would be. When he reached the bedroom, his jaw nearly hit the floor with amazement, as he saw his wife dressed more provocatively than even on their wedding day. At the same time the wife got up to go to bring her stunned husband to the bed, the jealous young woman, now naked as a jay bird, kicked in the thankfully shatter-proof bedroom window, giving a Tarzan-like yell as she barged in! This was enough to startle the cat burglar up above, who lost her balance completely, and had her blouse & bra torn completely off, as she fell butt first onto the bed. Upon seeing two more naked women suddenly appearing in the bedroom, the husband actually broke into tears. “da*nIT WOMAN! I ONLY HAVE ONE pen*s!!!” ok i'm not saying it is a bad joke ... but it is a little bit long-ish u know i was thinking of something shorter like: a husband is coming back home after two years of working abroad. the wife all excited preparing dinner and sending the kids away to her moms eagerly awaits him.
the guy walks in at home and immediately tells his wife: -" honey forget the dinner, take off everything u have on u and run for the bedroom " the wife all excited, panting, jumps in the bedroom bed naked: -" i didn't think u'll miss me soO much " the guy walks in briskly, turns off the lights in the bedroom, sits right next to her on the bed
and snaps his wrist in front of her -" check out this ultra cool new watch i got, it GLOWS in the dark " ;D lol you do realize it can awaken a sleeping Dragon potentially right? ;D
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Post by Shiki Akasha on May 11, 2011 12:55:15 GMT -4
I have to agree one of the jokes Shiki Asagami Brunested wrote is too long. Took a while to read it, I have a simple one: One guy is a regular in a bordello. One day this bordello has to do a renovation, and the bordello lobby has always kept one parrot. The parrot has become a problem, because no place to place him during the renovation. So, the Madam said to this regular customer, "Would you mind bring this parrot home for a few days till the renovation is over?" This regular happily obliged, and takes the parrot home. Whenever you are transporting a bird, you have to cover the birdcage with a black clothe, so the bird does not get panic during the trip. Finally, the regular customer got home, and his wife and all his daughters gathering around in the living room. The guy says, "I got a bird, and will stay with us few days." Then uncovers the clothe of the birdcage. The minute the clothe is uncovered, the parrot sees the guy and the wife and daughters, the parrot's eyes sparkled and says, "Regular customer! But all NEW GIRLS." Hint: The parrot thought all the ladies he sees are all ... new prostitutes. ok no more long ones ;D
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Post by Shiki Akasha on May 11, 2011 12:56:00 GMT -4
I have to agree one of the jokes Shiki Asagami Brunested wrote is too long. Took a while to read it, I have a simple one: One guy is a regular in a bordello. One day this bordello has to do a renovation, and the bordello lobby has always kept one parrot. The parrot has become a problem, because no place to place him during the renovation. So, the Madam said to this regular customer, "Would you mind bring this parrot home for a few days till the renovation is over?" This regular happily obliged, and takes the parrot home. Whenever you are transporting a bird, you have to cover the birdcage with a black clothe, so the bird does not get panic during the trip. Finally, the regular customer got home, and his wife and all his daughters gathering around in the living room. The guy says, "I got a bird, and will stay with us few days." Then uncovers the clothe of the birdcage. The minute the clothe is uncovered, the parrot sees the guy and the wife and daughters, the parrot's eyes sparkled and says, "Regular customer! But all NEW GIRLS." Hint: The parrot thought all the ladies he sees are all ... new prostitutes. Talk about a BAD WAY OF BEING FOUND OUT ;D
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Post by Shiki Akasha on May 11, 2011 12:56:37 GMT -4
One more joke about parrot (they are just a lot of fun): A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood he started shouting in the middle of the show: "Look, it's not the same hat" "Look, he is hiding the flowers under the table" "Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades ?" The magician was furious but couldn't do anything; it was, after all, the captain's parrot. One day the ship had an accident and sank. The magician found himself on a piece of wood in the middle of the ocean with the parrot, of course. They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day and then another and another. After a week the parrot said: "OK, I give up. Where's the boat?" not 18+ but i ROFL at the parrot ;D
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Post by Shiki Akasha on May 11, 2011 12:57:04 GMT -4
Ok short ones
Mick and Harry were having a drink at the pub one night, when Mick noticed a blonde making eyes at his friend. "Go and chat her up," Mick said, "You might get a f**k!" So Harry went over to the blonde and started chatting. But after about ten minutes, Harry came back to the table, looking pissed off. "What happened," asked Mick, "It looked like you were going to score!" "Yeah," replied Harry, "Things were going fine until she said, "I won't let you f**k me unless you dick is at least 10 inches long!" "So what's the problem?" asked Mick. Harry replied, "I'm not folding my dick in half for anybody!"
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Post by Shiki Akasha on May 11, 2011 12:57:34 GMT -4
What's the difference between white onions, brown onions and a 14 inch dick? Nothing. They all make women's eyes water! gods im thankfull my "dude" isnt THAT long i dont want to make Yuyuko cry
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