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Poem.
Jan 15, 2008 18:00:18 GMT -4
Post by krashlanmar on Jan 15, 2008 18:00:18 GMT -4
Your brown eyes, full of barefaced love,
left me without a trace,
and with all of our yesterdays
having lighted your way.
And of all our – my – yesterdays,
I can think of but one
wherein you have left me like this…
Leaving me loveless.
--
It blows, don't make fun of it.
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Poem.
Jan 15, 2008 22:59:24 GMT -4
Post by king arthur on Jan 15, 2008 22:59:24 GMT -4
Your brown eyes, full of barefaced love, left me without a trace, and with all of our yesterdays having lighted your way. And of all our – my – yesterdays, I can think of but one wherein you have left me like this… Leaving me loveless. -- It blows, don't make fun of it. This is a great poem, I almost forgot to mention it.  |
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Poem.
Jan 16, 2008 9:48:27 GMT -4
Post by kentucker4 on Jan 16, 2008 9:48:27 GMT -4
Your brown eyes, full of barefaced love, left me without a trace, and with all of our yesterdays having lighted your way. And of all our – my – yesterdays, I can think of but one wherein you have left me like this… Leaving me loveless. -- It blows, don't make fun of it. I like the way it's written, but it's a little too love sick sounding IMO. |
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Poem.
Jan 16, 2008 11:30:20 GMT -4
Post by krashlanmar on Jan 16, 2008 11:30:20 GMT -4
I would have to agree. I love the way it's written, but the subject matter is questionable.
... and it's not based on anything in my life either, so it's a 'poser' poem.
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Poem.
Jan 30, 2008 0:22:41 GMT -4
Post by krashlanmar on Jan 30, 2008 0:22:41 GMT -4
Makeshift ProphetI took the head of a rat and the wing of a bat and some clippings of nail and some squeezing of snail. Into an urn I placed all of these things. Then ground I all of this into grindings. And these grindings set I aflame – it was the fire that was to blame! – and I breathed in the fumes and prophesied great dooms. Joke-poem  My first version: Someone said it was better than the final, so here it is... Take your pick. I took the head of a rat and the wing of a bat and some clippings of nail and some squeezing of snail. And into an urn I placed all of these things and in the urn I ground all of these to make grindings. and these grindings I set aflame – it was the fire that was to blame! – and I breathed in the fumes and prophesied great dooms.
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Poem.
Jan 30, 2008 17:40:10 GMT -4
Post by nadia on Jan 30, 2008 17:40:10 GMT -4
I think the original one was better.
By the way I think you made a typo on the one on the top.
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Poem.
Jan 30, 2008 17:46:55 GMT -4
Post by krashlanmar on Jan 30, 2008 17:46:55 GMT -4
No I didn't... where?
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Poem.
Jan 30, 2008 17:50:40 GMT -4
Post by nadia on Jan 30, 2008 17:50:40 GMT -4
"Then ground I all of this into grindings."
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Poem.
Jan 30, 2008 18:04:46 GMT -4
Post by krashlanmar on Jan 30, 2008 18:04:46 GMT -4
That's on purpose
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Poem.
Jan 30, 2008 18:20:22 GMT -4
Post by nadia on Jan 30, 2008 18:20:22 GMT -4
Shrug* I still like the original. |
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Poem.
Jan 30, 2008 18:41:30 GMT -4
Post by dmoney on Jan 30, 2008 18:41:30 GMT -4
i like the original too
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Poem.
Jan 30, 2008 20:34:42 GMT -4
Post by krashlanmar on Jan 30, 2008 20:34:42 GMT -4
Bah you're all nuts >.>
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Poem.
Jan 30, 2008 22:16:01 GMT -4
Post by nadia on Jan 30, 2008 22:16:01 GMT -4
No... we collectively agree the original was better. And by we I mean 3 people. |
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Poem.
Jan 30, 2008 22:23:05 GMT -4
Post by king arthur on Jan 30, 2008 22:23:05 GMT -4
I think the original one was better. By the way I think you made a typo on the one on the top. At last, someone found one mistake about Krash. |
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Poem.
Jan 30, 2008 22:24:32 GMT -4
Post by king arthur on Jan 30, 2008 22:24:32 GMT -4
This must includes me. |
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